By Chelsey Minnis - Jul 14, 2017
I’m going to do a lot of tough thinking.
You’re furnishing the liquor.
Let’s mess up our lives the right way.
There is something in the mind called the soul.
But we’ve got to beat everyone using only our good looks.
What’s the use of thinking?
Some people can’t come along.
Sometimes I don’t talk to anyone at all. I just fixate on their necktie.
The kind of person I am, you don’t hurt the other person.
But your perfume climbs on like a tarantula.
Everybody knows dates and locations and things like that.
But I don’t know anything like that.
Now, let’s have a kiss.
I can send you the bill for a poem.
It costs a meat locker full of rubies.
Ha ha. Now, again, will I write you some trash.
Like you know I can.
I can write this now or later.
I can hurt you with a poem or hurt you in bed.
Either way you’re getting treated right.
Here is your money poem.
Now, I’ll show you how to spread it.
Open your jaws for a piece of cake.
Remember when you smashed a grapefruit in my eye?
The question is ever the same.
Am I ever going to stop doing as I wish?
Maybe if you gave me thirty lucky breaks I could succeed.
Write me a good line or I will zip up my dress.
That’s the way I feel about it.
Maybe I leave a lot of chances on the table.
Rather a dangerous playmate, aren’t you?
Example A: Your brain.
Think you can start a fire with it?
Now don’t be a killjoy.
I love a psychotic.
What are you? Some kind of chaser?
Do you want to make love?
How about a couple of steaks
and a certified check for $1,000?
Maybe I’ll let you stand next to me and catch my fleas.
You are a tiger skin rug of a man.
You’re just some man I beat at chess.
So, why can’t we leave each other alone?
Now, fix me a drink.
Later we can try some wrestling moves.
Your thoughts and my thoughts simply don’t agree.
But it is amusing to hit you with my armcast.
Shouldn’t everything be perfectly all right?
Don’t be silly.
Nobody puts me in checkmate.
What are you? Some guy with the million dollar hands?
Everyone is getting progressively outranked.
I don’t intend paying any more of your gambling debts.
I merely think you’re a terribly attractive person.
Someone’s got to be held tight.
I love a pet chimpanzee but I love you as well.
I love you more than crystal ashtrays.
Here’s the terrible nod that means you’re displeased.
Why don’t you kiss me then?
Mash me to a pulp.
You are a piece of steak darling.
Because of your damnable eyebrows.
Did anyone ever try to kill you in a rowboat?
Now, let’s be reasonable with ourselves.
You are very handsome and what makes it even worse you are rich.
Chelsey Minnis lives in Boulder, Colorado. She is working on a manuscript of poems titled baby, I don’t care.