Pride and Joy

Back before she had her own children, when she heard someone with children state or insinuate that people without children, people like her, couldn’t possibly understand what it was like to have children, and therefore—usually this would be the part that was insinuated—didn’t have access to the same amount of joy in life as did a person with children, that’s when she would begin to sense the tight tingly feeling in her chest indicating that her heart was about to erupt in outrage over the presumptuousness of such a proud and haughty multiparous bitch, unless she immediately did something to forestall it, like quickly find a cigarette and/or a stiff drink. But now, years later, a proud and haughty multiparous bitch herself, she actively seeks out opportunities to confront women without children in order to state or insinuate that not only can’t their trivial nulliparous existences compete with hers, but the amount of joy in life available to them versus that available to her isn’t even categorically comparable—it would be like pitting the emotional life of a plant or a rock against that of an animal. As she’s stating or, usually, merely insinuating this stuff, the familiar tight tingly feeling in her chest sometimes gets going again, and if there’s no way to forestall it with a cigarette and/or a stiff drink—which is usually the case nowadays, as she’s always about to have to drive a kid somewhere to something—she’ll continue assailing her nulliparous target, insinuating all kinds of hateful shit, until such time as her heart erupts, not in outrage, but in joy.

 

 

Week in the Life

Mon.

Coffee, cigarette, writing.
Gym.
Kids.
Vodka, valium, cigarette.

Tues.

Coffee, cigarette, writing.
Coffee, cigarette, writing.
Gym.
Vodka.
Kids.
Vodka.
Vodka, valium, cigarette.

Wed.

Coffee, writing.
Gym.
Kids.
Valium, valium, valium.

Thurs.

Coffee.
Gym.
Kids.
Vodka, cigarette.
Valium, cigarette.
Vodka, vodka, vodka.

Fri.

Coffee, cigarette, writing.
Gym, gym, gym.
Kids.
Vodka, vodka, vodka.
Cigarette.
Vodka, vodka, vodka.
Cigarette.

Sat.

Vodka, vodka.
Kids.
Coffee, valium, cigarette.
Coffee, kids.
Cigarette, cigarette, cigarette.
Kids, kids, kids.
Vodka, kids.
Valium, kids.
Vodka, cigarette.
Vodka, valium.
Valium, valium, valium.

Sun.

Coffee.
Writing.
Gym.
Kids.
Vodka.
Cigarette.
Valium.

 

 

To Watch or Not: A Möbius Strip

What do you want to watch?
     —I don’t know. What do you want to watch?
     —It’s your night to choose.
     —Didn’t I choose last night?
     —Do you not want to watch?
     —Do you?
     —Want to do something else instead?
     —Like what?
     —We could talk. We could touch feet. We could fuck.
     —Okay.
     —We could sleep.
     —Let’s just watch.
     —Okay. What do you want to watch?
     —I don’t know. What do you want to watch?
     —It’s your night to choose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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ARTWORK BY WILFREDO LAM